anotherhand (anotherhand) wrote,

Cartoon Physics, Part 2 - Nick Flynn

Years ago, alone in her room, my mother cut
	a hole in the air

& vanished into it.  The report hung &
	deafened, followed closely by an over-

whelming silence, a ringing
	in the ears.  Today I take a piece of chalk

& sketch a door in a wall.  By the rules
	of cartoon physics only I

can open this door.  I want her
	to come with me, like in a dream of being dead,

the mansion filled with cots,
	one for everyone I’ve ever known.  This desire

can be a cage, a dream that spills
	into waking, until I wander this city

as a rose-strewn funeral.  Once
	upon a time, let’s say, my mother stepped

inside herself & no one
	could follow.  More than once

I traded on this, until it transmuted into a story,
	the transubstantiation of desire,

I’d recite it as if I’d never told anyone,
	& it felt that way,

because I’d try not to cry yet always
	would, & the listener

would always hold me.  Upstairs the water
	channels off you, back

into the earth, or to the river, through pipes
	hidden deep in these walls. I told you the story

of first learning to write my own name, chalk
	scrawl across our garage door,

so that when my mother pulled it down I’d
	appear, like a movie.
Tags: agenda suicide, embroidery in childhood, nick flynn

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